Ticklers

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What’s the fun without a good laugh? Rush Talk would remain incomplete without Jokes. Help yourself with a small dose of laughter & fun reading what we found was funny enough to share with all of you.

 

  • Teacher: “Please define the bone spine.”
    Student: “It is a long bone. Your head sits on one end and you on the other.”


    Boss to this secretary: “Did you cancel all the engagements for the next week as I told you to?”
    Secretary: “Yes I did Sir. But your fiancée didn’t take it too well. She said you were to marry her next Monday.”


    Two cars collided at the intersection and a man and a lady got down from their respective cars.
    Lady: “I turned the way I signalled.”
    Man: “Yes, I know. That’s what fooled me.”


    Diner: “I see that tips are forbidden here.”
    Waiter: “Yes Sir, but so were the apples in the Garden of Eden.”


    “My teenage son obeys me to the letter.”
    “How do you do it?”
    “Easy...I tell him to do as he pleases.”

  • “Do you mean Sam is famous for his after dinner speaking?”
    “Yes. He always manages to be speaking on his phone when the waiter brings the bill.”


    A man met a politician at a party.
    “I’ve heard a great deal about you.” He said “Possibly, but you can’t prove it.”


    Doctor: “The cheque you gave me the other day bounced back.”
    Patient: “So did my arthritis.”


    Father: “I am obliged to punish you, though it will pain me”
    Son: “But father, why pain yourself if you have done nothing wrong?”


    There are two types of party goers. One wants to leave early, one wants to stay late. Trouble is, they are usually married to one another.

  • “Mommy, the boy next door broke my doll.”
    “How did he do it?”
    “I hit him on the head with it.”


    A police officer stops a woman from speeding and asks her to see her driving license.
    Woman:”I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday one of you took my license away and today you expect me to show it to you!”


    Child in bed with fever: “How high is the fever doctor?”
    Doctor: “A hundred and three.”
    Child: “What is the world’s record?”


    A man riding on a donkey happened to meet another man riding on a fine horse. He dismounted and asked, “Would you like to swap your mount for mine?”
    The other said, “Are you a fool?”
    “No. I thought you might be.”


    A boss is a man who is late when you are early and early when you are late.

 

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