Words say a lot more when said with an intention. Such moments of communicating emotions are bundled together in the Land of Letters where the best from the world of emotions are displayed. Feel what could otherwise be only read.
You still here? Not sure, but what’s wrong with trying!! It's been 2 years since the summer in Boston. I must be old & gone in your memory. But you not for me. You have been alive & full of life. The truth in losing the note with your contact haunts me even now. Maybe two years was a test to my memory. Searched everywhere. Nothing spared & no effort wasted in your pursuit. But you were clearly gone. I remember you saying Winter Hills. I had no numbers to close in. Yet I did the best I could. None knew Ann Lewis. Still I didn't lose hope. There were days I would turn my house into a warehouse. Your note was more than worthy of any action. But no luck anywhere. I did live these years well & you were one of the reasons for it. Ann Lewis - You 've made my life dramatic over these years.
You married? Committed? In love? Dating or looking to date? I wouldn't know. But I wish you are still at the last one in the list. It doesn't matter if you are married or working on any of the others too. I don't care anymore what you are doing as long as I get a response from you!! It’s all about where you are. 24 hrs. since I discovered your note tucked away in a book I carried 2 years ago that summer, I’ve been showing signs of restlessness & impatience. I had a few questions to whoever was ready to give me the answers but those still remain questions. Maybe you could help if I do find you here...Maybe I will!!! When we parted ways you were sure we would meet again.
Let me recollect your last words to me “I guess if it has to happen it will. If I were to meet you nothing should stop it. But if we aren't to meet, you can still write to me here. I will be glad to hear from you after a while of leaving to destiny our fate.” I ask if its that time yet where our fate has been put to its test of durability? If it has been, I will find you here with this. I am sure I will.
I have moved homes & shuttled jobs. I have had fun & lived happily. There has been nothing I have sacrificed or let go in these years. But I have carried the thought of you in me through everything. I have wished for your presence and yearned for your company. I have had girlfriends & they have all been great. You would have stopped at nothing short of the best. My friends think I am crazy. I tell myself “I trust in my destiny...more because of you”. 4 hours with you, two years since & I am still waiting for you. That's no small feat. This is huge for me.
I move on swiftly. I wait for none. But I do for you & I don't mind I do it. There was something between us. I want to know what it was. I want to ask you if you felt the same way. Somethings are best unsaid but not this one. I understand you must be having a life on your own now or you could be waiting for destiny just like me. Whatever it is that you are in, make sure you have a reply for me. You will be helping a soul cope with life.
Ann Lewis is not your name, it can’t be. I have met more than a dozen of likely Ann Lewis & none turned out to be you. You played well. You wished anonymity & you have earned it. You have played with me & I am not upset ever. Maybe that's why I like you so much. You were sinfully naughty. You stormed into my life with your free spirit. You left your mark on everyone around but me in particular.
Ann Lewis or Kathy Robert I don't know. Yet I wish to know & see more of you. Writing to you has been an event. I have pondered what to say. I am nervous to find you. I wish you were here. It will be disappointing if you aren't. My hopes are high this time & I have bet on all odds to reach you with this. I am convinced I will.
There is no force to respond to my feelings. I am not asking you to reciprocate to my words. I hope you understand I am lost without discovering the truth about you. I have controlled my anxiety & worked on moving ahead. I love my life. I have enjoyed every bit offered to me including the 4 hours of travel with you. You spoke so much that I am still listening. To think you couldn't reach out to me.
I am still Mike Cooper cos I didn't fake my identity. I wasn't playing games. I worked with Redmond Corporation until a year ago. I still play for the Red Roadies & I am at the Time Square for every New Year ball. I am sorry I didn't leave an address for you then, I couldn't. I was between moving places. But I had left everything else I possibly could including a obviously conquered heart.
I had felt vibes from you. I could be wrong but I think you liked me. I have my signs to support my conclusions. You will be here if I am lucky. But if you aren’t, I would consider you gone forever. I cant keep waiting for you cos I have a life that I need to take care of. I will make sure I treasure that summer day with you & think about it whenever I can. I will retain the warmth of the hug & the heat of the peck on the cheek. It was hardly a kiss!!
If you are here & have grown up since then, stop playing & come out to reveal who you are. Lets meet as Mike & Ann one more time. I promise you that I will make the meeting interesting enough to carry on a lifetime. Give me a chance Ann, if you are still who I was left to dream about. I am done with you - Maybe not yet!!!
Look after yourself
Mike - From the summer ride in the REDLine
To surprise me dial - 212 732 0041