Hush talks about the most interesting episodes of his life to let the world get a feel of those experiences that redefined his existence.
AttitudeI was skeptical to start something on my own. My existing job bought me a decent living & enough comforts. But then I was known to chase something new all the while. It was deemed to be a natural progression as I turned employer from being an employee. The change demanded a lot out of me. Pop & Jack played my mentors in turning an entrepreneur. Nothing was a cause of concern until the interference of destiny.
I was 27 with no baggage to defend. I was given a free hand to pursue a dream that I carried in me since long - My very own Advertising firm!! I loved the space I was in & got myself to be among the most efficient set of guys in business. How & why these happened, I didn't care. All that I took pride in was the good times I was going through with a not so dull business to start with & a wonderful team of colleagues. Life was just perfect when a phone call damaged my very belief in most things I believed until then...
My office had been robbed. That was not as bad as what was to follow.... The one to have been the inside help in the robbery was one my most trusted friend & coworker, Hughes. Confidential slides for a project were stolen & exchanged hands with my direct competitors. I knew Hughes since a few years that we put together at Y & Z, our first job. He had been one of the many reasons for having the confidence to go on my own. He had quit jobs to be my savior in setting this up..."Why him of all people?", I wondered.
AttitudeI was asked to come down to file for damages & identify my stuff. The cops had questions for me. They wanted me to decide on the charges I was to press for. I was full of anger & anxiety - Anger at myself for having been a fool to trust the wrong people & Anxious for having to face Hughes for the first time since the robbery. At the agency, Hughes was brought into explain his role & the details of execution. Hughes looked at me with no less affection or understanding than he always had while I was at war with myself & him. It was not possible for me to control my agitation. I wished I had a moment with Hughes alone to show him what I felt within.
The formalities all done, I got what I had wanted - My moment with Hughes!! The cops seemed to understand my pain as Hughes was left in the room with me - "alone & handcuffed". In all my life I had been through a lot but it is moments as these that teaches one a lot about oneself. Hughes uttered a faint "Sorry Hush" as if everything was over & done with. It was as simple as two words to set himself free of the burden called trust.
I wanted to ask him a lot of stuff - "Why? For What? How?" .I wanted answers & I knew he owed me many. But as he said his apology, I did or said nothing. Not because I was a saint to have forgiven him. I was outraged. But something in me stopped my actions. I didn't tell him anything, not until the cops were back to take him along.... Hughes did not seem to be upset as much as I was yet he was bold enough to say, "Don't hate me buddy" as he left me & my feelings thinking at what had happened.
AttitudeIt was not until about a few years later that I sat down to recollect my behavior that day!! I was now older & wiser than then. Yet something in me felt proud at what I had done that day. I had no reasons to feel so. But I inspected my actions & found out a lot more about who I was than I already knew about myself.
My reasons for not demanding explanations out of Hughes were very different. As much as I knew he had done me & our friendship wrong & betrayed my trust in him, I guess the gratitude that I owed to this very same Hughes for coming out with me to support my dream did me in. I could only see what Hughes had done for me in the time of need & not look beyond the support that he had been. I wouldn't have been as confident about leaving Y & Z had he not been there for me. Pop & Jack, my brother always stood by me but it was Hughes & a few others like him who got me to fear nothing with their pledge of becoming my workforce.
I had lost the trust in him as he said sorry. I wasn't ready to accept any thing that he felt for me. I was broken & shattered but then I remembered that it was the same trust that he had once offered me, which got me to be where I was now. Hughes could have been the betrayer & he would be punished for his betrayal but then I was someone who was made to realize that the past plays a role even in your present. I may be called a coward or a softy to have not shown my anger. But I would like to think that I did what my mind could do at that moment. Hating him could ruin my memories of building something as special as HuLu, my dream company. But loving him for all his help made my life easier to begin by fixing up the broken pieces of trust & friendship.
AttitudeSomethings are better dealt the way you want them to!! Like they say some like it hot while some like it cold. It is not in how you react but how you perceive. I don't celebrate Hughes presence in my life anymore, certainly not after an Event as this but i can't erase his contributions to my journey till now...
Don't let go until you want to & don't be bad until you feel like!!
Hughes & his betrayal taught me that I was the sort who carried the past along but who still chased the new. That's me & I love the way I am for I live my life happily & peacefully even under the most testing times.
Attitude can only be yours & shouldn't bare other's preferences.
Do what you feel like & be what you want to - Nothing else matters!!!